20 Ways to Find Your Calm in 2020

Black Mom's Guide to Calm

Happy 2020! A new year is here, and if one of your intentions/goals is to have less stress and more inner peace in your life (and honestly, it totally should be), I got you!

But before I get into the tips, finding your calm:

  • Boosts your mental, physical, emotional and spiritual health.
  • Can help reduce anxiety and depression.
  • Improves your focus and concentration.
  • Helps improve relationships (including with yourself).
  • Stabilizes your mood.

Now, here are 20 ways to tap into your inner peace this year:

  1. Meditate. Taking a few minutes a day (5 or 10 minutes) to get still and breathe can work wonders for your calm.
  2. Practice yoga. Start your own home practice with the help of YouTube or check out a class at a local studio (Check out Yoga Green Book for black-owned studios).
  3. Be in the present moment. Ideas for this: do nothing; focus on one task at a time; practice conscious listening when having a conversation.
  4. Relax. Catch up on one of your shows, read a novel, take a nap.
  5. Practice self-care. Do something every day to make sure you’re taken care of physically, mentally, spiritually and/or emotionally.
  6. Protect your peace. Whenever possible, eliminate the things that cause you to feel stressed, overwhelmed and/or anxious.
  7. Be grateful. Do your best (especially in moments of stress) to focus on the good in your life.
  8. Embrace where you are. You’re right where you need to be.
  9. Be kind to yourself. Allow yourself to be human. Treat yourself like you would your child and/or best friend.
  10. Use affirmations. The words you say to and about yourself greatly impact you and your life, so speak on what you want to manifest and create.
  11. Journal. Writing down how you feel is a great way to relieve stress and anxiety. Also, keeping a gratitude journal helps increase your calm and positive energy.
  12. Trust your journey. Know that the Universe/Spirit/your Higher Power has your back. Always.
  13. Protect your energy. Some ideas: spend time with high-vibing individuals; speak your truth; surround yourself (energetically) in a protective bubble of white light; consume media/social media that’s uplifting.
  14. Focus on what you can control. Don’t stress yourself about things you can do nothing about. Instead, focus on what you can do and maintain your calm.
  15. Learn what your stressors are. When you know what’s actually stressing you, you’ll know whether you can do something about it (like get rid of it or make necessary changes) or if you need to be more intentional about creating calm practices.
  16. Try aromatherapy. A few scents that help bring inner peace are lavender, lemongrass and sandalwood.
  17. Use crystal healing. Great crystals for finding your calm include amethyst, smoky quartz, blue lace agate and howlite.
  18. Spend time with friends + loved ones. Do something fun with your girls, your kid(s) or your significant other.
  19. Slow down. All the things that you’re trying to do aren’t going anywhere, and you’re not in a race. Keep calm and take your time.
  20. Take deep breaths often. “Deep breaths are like little love notes to your body.” – Unknown

How will you find your calm this year? Choose two or three to focus on, then go from there. đź’™

5 Signs You’re Stressed (And May Not Know It)

Black Mom's Guide to Calm

It can be tricky to know you’re experiencing stress, especially if it’s constant and you feel that’s “just how things are” and/or it’s a way of life. If you’re reading this blog post, I’m sure you’d like to recognize signs of stress so you can create more calm in your life.

Here are five signs that you might be dealing with stress and don’t know it:

  1. You’re irritable or experience mood swings. You might find yourself getting annoyed easily or that the smallest things get on your nerves. You might also find that you snap on people more quickly
  2. You have a hard time concentrating. If you find that you have difficulty focusing on tasks or that you often forget things, you might be dealing with stress and overwhelm.
  3. You may have physical symptoms. You might experience headaches, muscle tension, a change in your appetite and weight loss or gain.
  4. You procrastinate often. You may feel overwhelmed by all you need to do, so you put tasks off or wait until the last minute.
  5. You have sleep issues. If you have trouble falling or staying asleep at night, and/or feel tired throughout the day, stress may be the culprit.

A few ways to combat your stress and find calm (in case you need a reminder):

  • Meditate.
  • Practice yoga.
  • Live in the moment.
  • Create daily habits and routines for calm and self-care.
  • And, of course, check out the shop for resources!

5 Ways to Find Calm During the Holidays

Black Mom's Guide to Calm

The holiday season is here, which can bring an added layer of stress and overwhelm to our already chaotic lives. Fortunately, there are things you can do and methods you can use to bring more joy (and peace) to your world:

1. Use calming practices daily.

Practicing yoga, meditation, or just taking a few deep breaths and saying some affirmations can go a long way when it comes to beating holiday stress (and stress in general, of course). Taking just 5 or 10 minutes in the morning and/or before you go to bed can work wonders.

2. Listen to your body and practice self-care.

If you feel yourself becoming more fatigued or feel like you’re about to get sick or burn out, listen to your body’s message and slow down or take a break. Even better: Take care of yourself before you even get to that point. Some suggestions:

  • Try to get seven to eight hours a sleep a night (or take a nap).
  • Try to eat well, and stay hydrated.
  • Schedule some downtime in your planner/calendar.
  • Spend some time by yourself.
  • Unplug from social media for 30 to 60 minutes (or a whole day!).
  • Put space between things. In other words, instead of rushing to the next task when you finish one, take a little breather. Then focus on what’s next.

3. Do your best.

Don’t allow people, consumerism, social media — or even yourself — make you feel like you have to buy your children dozens of presents or the latest gadgets to be a great parent. Also, don’t feel like you have to be the most creative Pinterest mom or like you need this grandiose, picture perfect Christmas morning.  Do what you’re able to do, and be at peace with that. I promise, everything will be amazing regardless!

4. Participate in fun family activities.

Since you’ll likely be spending more time with your children because they’ll be out of school, this is a great opportunity to not only have fun and spend some quality time with them, it’s also a chance for you to unwind a bit. You can:

  • Take a ride to look at the Christmas lights.
  • Watch some of the Christmas movies you loved as a kid.
  • Make ornaments or a gingerbread house.
  • Bake cookies or make hot chocolate.

5.  Be present, go with the flow, and be grateful.

No matter where you are or what you’re doing, do your best to be mindful and in the moment. Don’t let your to-do list keep you from enjoying whatever is happening. Also, choose to focus on the positives and all the moments and memories you’re creating.

How do you maintain calm and peace during the holiday season? Leave a comment below!

6 Journal Prompts For More Calm

Black Mom's Guide to Calm

One of my favorite ways to find calm and practice self-care is by journaling. I usually either do a brain dump when I have a lot on my mind, or I write to process my emotions when I’m feeling overwhelmed, anxious, sad, frustrated — any emotion that I feel I need to work through. Additionally, I write what I’m thankful for and my intentions for the day every morning.

Journaling is definitely something I recommend everyone do, at least occasionally. Why should you? It:

  • Increases your focus.
  • Allows you to process the things happening in your life.
  • Helps you heal from the past and mentally/emotionally.
  • Allows you to express yourself freely.
  • Helps you solve your problems.
  • Creates clarity and helps you become more self-aware.

Using prompts is a method you can use to begin or enhance your journaling practie. Below are six that will help you create more calm, joy, and positive energy:

  1. I’m thankful for ____ (set a timer for 2-3 minutes, and list as many things as you can think of).
  2. I am lovable because ________.
  3. What are the ways I like to (or would like to) practice self-care?
  4. 3 simple steps I will take to find calm are _________.
  5. What makes me happy?
  6. What’s something positive happening (or something positive that’s recently happened) in your life?

A few more journaling ideas:

  • Your goals/intentions.
  • How your ideal life looks
  • Your bucket list
  • Where would you like to be in one year? 5 years?

Journaling is a voyage to the interior.– Christina Baldwin

Happy writing! ❤

Resource

#CalmTip: Try Rag Doll Pose

 

Black Girl's Guide to Calm

It’s a new month, and that means it’s time for a new yoga pose. This month, it’s rag doll pose. This is one of my favorites, especially after I’ve been to the gym and my hamstrings are super tight. The pose loosens your hamstrings, provides a gentle stretch for your lower spine, and can even help with menstrual cramps.

How to do it:

  1. Stand with your feet planted firmly, a little wider than hip-distance.
  2. Bend forward, and grab opposite elbows, keeping a small bend in your knees.
  3. Keep your neck long, and gently shake your head to release any tension.
  4. If it feels good, sway back and forth or from side to side.
  5. Stay in the pose for 5-10 breaths.
  6. To come out, let go of your elbows, and slowly come up, from your lower, middle then upper back, with your head coming up last.

Tips

  • If you have a lot of back pain, bend your knees deeply in this pose.
  • Rest your elbows against a chair, table, or on your thighs if your back feels strained.

“Make time for your yoga (it’s important).”

#CalmTip: Practice Mindfulness at Work

Practice mindfulness at work

It may sound a little weird, but when you practice mindfulness at work, you’re likely to stress less, focus more, and get more done. No, you may not be able to sit and meditate for 20 minutes, or break out a downward facing dog in the middle of the office, but here are some ways you can be mindful at work:

  1. Instead of  jumping right in when you get to work, take a few minutes to breathe, center yourself, and maybe even say a few affirmations.
  2. Focus on one thing at a time (as much as possible), and take your time.
  3. Be aware and notice what’s happening around you without judgement.
  4. When you’re conversing with someone, really listen to what s/he’s saying.
  5. At lunch, eat mindfully. Just eat without looking at your phone or checking emails, and really savor your food.
  6. Pay attention and be aware of any stress signals. For example, are your shoulders hunched, or is your jaw clenched?
  7. Allow yourself to take little breaks to close your eyes and breathe deeply.

“Mindfulness means paying attention; in a particular way; on purpose, in the present moment and nonjudgmentally.” – Jon Kabbat-Zinn

#CalmTip: October 27th, 2015

 

Black Girl's Guide to Calm

If I’m having a particularly stressful or overwhelming day, I repeat a mantra while I meditate. A mantra is a “sound, word, or phrase that is repeated by someone who is praying or meditating.” (Merrian-Webster.com); you can repeat it silently in your head or out loud.

To create your own calm mantra, think about how you want to feel or be, then state it affirmatively. For example, one I use often is “I am calm and centered.” Saying a mantra while you meditate can help you: 1) Focus on something other than what’s bothering you; 2) Relax; and 3) Believe what you’re saying is true at a deeper level so that it actually becomes true.

“Never underestimate the power of words. You make your world with your words.” – Dee Rimmer

#CalmTip: October 20th, 2015

Black Girl's Guide to Calm

Not only is meditation an awesome way to create more calm, it also cultivates a consistent sense of inner peace and decreases your tendency to worry. You don’t need anything special to meditate; your stillness and breath are all that are really necessary. If you’re ready to begin your practice, learn more about the Meditation Mentor audio.

“In the rush and noise of life, as you have intervals; step home within yourselves and be still.” – William Penn

#CalmTip: October 6th, 2015

Black Girl's Guide to Calm

 

I believe that one of the biggest causes of overwhelm and stress for women, and Black women in particular, is the Superwoman Syndrome, trying to do it all and filling multiple roles like wife, mother, employee, entrepreneur, daughter, etc. It’s important to realize that 1) Trying to be superwoman does more harm than good; and 2) In the long run, you won’t be able to sustain it; eventually, you will burn out.

Here’s what you can do instead of trying to be superwoman and all things to all people:

  • Ask for help, whether it’s from your partner, kids, parents or other loved ones.
  • Create a support system. This can be your friends or another group of like-minded women (Check out my Facebook group to connect with like-minded women).
  • Prioritize. Figure out what’s really important at the moment, and forget about everything else for now. For example, some days, the laundry might sit in the basket unfolded for a couple of days because you have to finish a project. And that’s okay.
  • Release perfectionism. It doesn’t exist so just do your best.
  • Take time for you. You deserve it!

#CalmTip: September 8th, 2015

 

Black Girl's Guide to Calm

Practicing mindfulness is simply being aware of the present moment, not judging or reacting to what’s going on around you. Whenever thoughts come, you observe them with a friendly interest then let them go. Today, practice mindfulness by doing one thing — and one thing only — for at least five minutes.

“Mindfulness is about being fully awake in our lives. It is about perceiving the exquisite vividness of each moment. We also gain immediate access to our own powerful inner resources for insight, transformation, and healing.” – Jon Kabat-Zinn