Most of us had an idea of how we thought our lives would turn out, but it probably looks differently that what we’d initially planned or imagined. I, for example, never imagined myself getting divorced, co-parenting, building a business like Black Mom’s Guide to Calm or even having the spiritual beliefs I do, and I thought I’d have my life “together” by 30-something. (We plan, God laughs, right?).
When I first felt like my life was falling apart and my plan went off course when I got separated, I had a hard time accepting the fact that I wasn’t going to be married to this person forever (like I thought/planned) and the fact that I’d have to figure things out and start over. I admit: I still have moments when I’m like, “WTF happened?” and “How did I get here?”
But fortunately, for the most part, I’ve learned to let go of how I thought my life should have/would turn out and accept where I am now. To do this, though, I had to learn a few things:
While I have some part in creating my life, I’m not in control of every aspect. I have to focus on what I can control and let Spirit handle everything else.
The past is the past. I can’t do anything about what’s already happened, so there’s no point in me worrying or stressing about it. Learn from your mistakes and missteps, let the rest go, and focus on moving ahead. As Maya Angelou said, “When you know better, you do better.”
Most things happen for a reason. I may not understand why certain things happen while I’m living it, but looking back, I can often see why. Sometimes, situations occur to get you to the next level of your life and to where you’re supposed to be.
Shift your perspective. When I find myself feeling down about where I am, I do my best to focus on the positive aspects and what I’m thankful for about my current situation.
Trust the journey. At the end of the day, I don’t know how life will unfold for me (none of us do). We just have to remember that all is well and that things are working in our favor. Trust Spirit and your process.
“We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.” – Joseph Campbell