My Journey to Finding Calm
I started meditating and learned about yoga around 2008, and I practiced off and on during that time. I knew the benefits of both practices, but I couldn’t seem to make myself do it on a consistent basis.
Fast forward to December 2013: My husband and I had our first child. Before we had her, we agreed that I would continue taking care of the majority of the home (since I worked from home, and he worked long hours overnight), and he would pitch in more while also, of course, helping with our baby. I’m sure you can see where this is going…things didn’t work out the way I’d envisioned. In his defense, he was working 12 hour nights, seven days a week; so not only did I feel frustrated, I also sometimes felt guilty for feeling frustrated and feeling like I couldn’t do it all. But because I was trying to find a balance with being a new mother, being a wife, taking care of home, and getting my business on track, I felt I needed more of his help.
Ultimately, I knew something had to give.
I decided that since I didn’t like the way I felt, I needed to do something about it. I wrote some new affirmations around how I wanted to feel and made a sincere effort to have a positive attitude. I journaled more often as a way to vent my frustrations. I also did some serious praying, I focused on making myself better and communicating what I needed. Things improved a little between us, but I still found that I was overwhelmed and stressed with all of my roles.
At the end of 2014, I re-discovered yoga and meditation, and it has changed my life — and me — so much. Not only have they caused me to stress less and be less anxious, sitting in stillness has allowed me to see that I need to live in the moment, focus on what’s happening right now (which allows me to worry less), and go with the flow. Meditation and yoga have also taught me that everything happens when it’s supposed to happen, so I don’t need to rush and obsess with trying to make things happen. Of course, I still have moments when I’m stressed or feel overwhelmed (because that’s life, no matter who you are), but those times are fewer, and I know how to stop those feelings from completely taking over.
These practices — along with methods like self-care, mindfulness, and crystal healing — were especially beneficial the last half of 2017. Since August of last year, my husband and I have been separated; although I knew it would happen eventually, the way it happened was a shock; and needless to say, I’ve been dealing with a lot of emotions and stress. During this time, I’ve had to dig deep for my inner peace, and the tools I share through this brand are helping me get through it more calmly.
The birth of Black Mom’s Guide to Calm
Although I’d thought about it before, the idea of moving forward with Black Mom’s Guide to Calm was suggested by my coach, Abiola Abrams. As a mama, I know how overwhelming motherhood can be. And Black moms in particular are taught — from birth, basically — to put EVERYONE else’s needs and wants before our own. Many of us are taught that we have to sacrifice our own well-being and our desires for those of our children, partners/spouses, and even the community. Additionally, many of us believe we’re supposed to be the “Strong Black Woman” and handle everything without breaking a sweat…or a nail. To that I say…
ENOUGH! NO MORE!
This way of living — of putting ourselves on the backburner, of making everybody else a priority, of thinking that it’s okay and acceptable to be stressed and overwhelmed most of the time — is literally killing us.
Listen, sis, you DESERVE to feel calm, happy, relieved, and whole. And as your Calm Coach, I’m here to help you do just that!
Black Mom’s Guide to Calm was created as a safe space for Black moms to overcome their overwhelm and find calm through practices like meditation, yoga, mindfulness and self-care. Trust me when I say there is a better way to live!
If you’re ready to find your calm, this is the place for you. And you can get started with my free guided meditation! Download it here.