Guided Meditation for Overwhelmed Moms

Black Mom's Guide to Calm

Although I’ve only been a mama for four years, I definitely know how overwhelming it can be. If you’re like me, not only are you raising your child(ren) and trying to be the best mother you can be, you’re also juggling a lot of other things outside of that: work (your job and/or business), relationships, making time for some sort of social life, and (hopefully) self-care, not to mention you might might be going through other life transitions and situations.

Even as the Calm Coach, I find it pretty stressful at times, trying to keep up with everything I have going on. There are plenty of times when I’m not able to check everything off of my to-do list, when things don’t get done when I think they should, and I experience mommy guilt because I feel that I’m not spending enough time with my daughter. And when this happens, I often start feeling bad about myself and beating myself up, which only leads to me feeling more stressed, overwhelmed, and frustrated. Thankfully, I have tools to help me cope; two are my favorites are meditation and using mantras/affirmations. And here’s what I remind myself:

  • I am enough, and I am doing enough.
  • I am doing my best, and that’s good enough.
  • I am a great mom.
  • I got this. Everything is going to be okay.

If you’re finding that you need a little encouragement as an overwhelmed mommy, check out the guided meditation below!

 

 

 

How to Stop Overthinking and Trust the Process

Black Mom's Guide to Calm

I’ve pretty much been an overthinker for as long as I can remember. And although I’ve gotten better at not doing it as much as I used to, I still have my moments. For example, last week I was feeling kind of discouraged about my business for a number of reasons (which is totally normal, by the way. But I wasn’t making as many sales as I wanted, Aunt Flo was visiting i.e., hormones, and maybe a little Mercury Retrograde was affecting me).

One day, on my way to work, I was listening to the Being Boss podcast about fear I think, and one of the hosts, Kathleen, mentioned that she’d gone to see an energy healer. She shared that her main takeaway from the experience was to focus on what, not how. And while it was a lightbulb moment for me, it was nothing that I hadn’t heard before, so it was a reminder of something that I had forgotten. The Law of Attraction essentially says that you should simply focus on what it is you desire, NOT on how it’s going to come to you. Like, I KNOW this is true; but sometimes, when you’re in it, in life, you forget the truth and what you know.

I think part of the issue was me thinking about all the things I want to accomplish in my business, how I could (or would) do it, how much time it would take and how much I time I felt I would need, and feeling like I’m “behind.” And another huge issue was me spending waaay too much time on social media, comparing my life and journey to other people’s. Ultimately, I came to the realization that I was overthinking — and that’s why I’d been feeling discouraged and stressed and overwhelmed. So, here’s what I did — and am doing — to combat that habit in the moment (and these are in no particular order):

Stop. 

When I notice that I’m overthinking, I will literally tell myself to stop — and sometimes I even say it out loud. Then, I choose a different thought, a more positive one that will better serve me.

Breathe.

I pause and take a few deep breaths. This allows me to calm and center myself. Breathing also puts things back in perspective, meaning it helps me remember that I’m exactly where I need to be and that all is well.

Affirm.

To get my mind back on a more positive track, I say a few of my favorite affirmations like:

All is well.

I trust in Divine Timing.

Trust the process.

The Universe has my back.

Everything is happening how it’s supposed to.

I got this.

Stay present.

Bring my focus and attention back to the present moment does a few things: 1. I feel more centered and peaceful; 2. I am better able to focus on the task at hand, which allows me to actually get shit done; 3 Being in a peaceful, contented, grateful state of flow magnetizes my desires to me.

Get inspired.

Listening to podcasts from women entrepreneurs has become one of my favorite things. Not only do I get tips for growing my business, being more productive, etc., I am also inspired by the stories I hear that show me I can do this, too.

Do a brain dump.

On days that I feel overwhelmed, I take out my journal, and write down everything that comes to me: what I’m thinking, how I’m feeling, and even any solutions that pop into my head. When I do this, it feels like space is cleared in in my mind, so to speak. Then, I can focus on actually doing what I need to. And speaking of doing what I need to…

Take inspired action.

When I overthink and start stressing myself out about not being “there” quickly enough, my natural inclination is to just try everything and do all this stuff to make shit happen and happen more quickly. What I’ve learned is that doing things out of desperation or fear never works. However, when you listen to Spirit and your Divine Guidance for what to do next, that’s when the magic happens.

Realize the things I’m thinking haven’t actually happened.

Another point brought up on the podcast was the fact that most of the things we’re fearing or worrying about hasn’t even happened! Basically, we’re worrying about situations and worst-case scenarios that are literally just in our minds. This is where being present and mindful comes into play.

Pay attention to signs from the Universe.

I’m a believer that the Universe sends us messages in various forms to remind us of what we need to know. Interestingly, as I was scrolling Facebook the morning I started this post, I came across two statuses that confirmed the importance of trusting the process:

“You cannot get to the end from the middle. No matter what we are doing, there is a process. When we rush ahead we miss important steps. If we become impatient, we can overlook details. We must be willing to move step by step, inch by inch to get to the end.” – Iyanla Vanzant

“Do not put a timeframe on everything. Instead enjoy each step. Accept the fact that your objectives can only be accomplished one at a time. Trust comes from understanding the plan of success…” – Frank Matias

Realize this is YOUR journey.

One of my overthinking and worry triggers is comparing myself and my life to other people’s. What I have to remind myself is that this is MY path, and that everyone else is on their own path. I have to focus on me and what I was put here to do, and stay in MY lane.

“Stop overthinking. You can’t control everything. Just let it be.” – Unkown

6 Journal Prompts For More Calm

Black Mom's Guide to Calm

One of my favorite ways to find calm and practice self-care is by journaling. I usually either do a brain dump when I have a lot on my mind, or I write to process my emotions when I’m feeling overwhelmed, anxious, sad, frustrated — any emotion that I feel I need to work through. Additionally, I write what I’m thankful for and my intentions for the day every morning.

Journaling is definitely something I recommend everyone do, at least occasionally. Why should you? It:

  • Increases your focus.
  • Allows you to process the things happening in your life.
  • Helps you heal from the past and mentally/emotionally.
  • Allows you to express yourself freely.
  • Helps you solve your problems.
  • Creates clarity and helps you become more self-aware.

Using prompts is a method you can use to begin or enhance your journaling practie. Below are six that will help you create more calm, joy, and positive energy:

  1. I’m thankful for ____ (set a timer for 2-3 minutes, and list as many things as you can think of).
  2. I am lovable because ________.
  3. What are the ways I like to (or would like to) practice self-care?
  4. 3 simple steps I will take to find calm are _________.
  5. What makes me happy?
  6. What’s something positive happening (or something positive that’s recently happened) in your life?

A few more journaling ideas:

  • Your goals/intentions.
  • How your ideal life looks
  • Your bucket list
  • Where would you like to be in one year? 5 years?

Journaling is a voyage to the interior.– Christina Baldwin

Happy writing! ❤

Resource
Black Mom's Guide to Calm

5 Ways to Find Calm Through Life Transitions

Black Mom's Guide to Calm

So, I recently decided to find a part-time job after years of only working from home, and I completed my first week last week. Of course, I still have my motherhood duties and my business, plus all the day-to-day things. Needless to say, it’s been a hectic week, and I’ve been feeling pretty overwhelmed by things.

Because I’m a recovering perfectionist and control freak, I felt like this adjustment process should have been easier for me and that I should have been able to get everything done for the day in spite of the fact that 1. I now have fewer hours to do things in; 2. Life — and children — don’t always adhere to the plans in your head or on paper; and 3. It’s only been a week. That’s 7 days. Still, I’ve been beating myself up because I haven’t been able to do all I want when it comes to working on my business and spending time with Nailah (enter more mommy guilt). And I haven’t figured out a schedule that works yet.

Thankfully, though, this process has been another great reminder in learning how to stay calm in the midst of life’s changes. Here’s what is working for me:

  1. Practicing mindfulness. Most of my feelings of stress and overwhelm comes from worrying about what’s not getting done or what I have left to do — and feeling like I won’t be able to get it done (which is also a waste of valuable time). I’ve been more intentional about staying in the present moment and concentrating on one thing at a time, which allows me to focus and feel more at ease.
  2. Making sure I practice my morning routine. This consists of meditating, reading/reciting my affirmations (with crystals), writing what I’m thankful for and my daily intentions, and pulling a card from my Womanifesting Fertility Goddess Affirmation Cards. Yes, I now have to get up a bit earlier to get it done before my daughter wakes up, but I can definitely tell the difference when I don’t do it (it’s not good). So, to make sure I stay relatively calm, centered, and grounded, I make sure I do these things.
  3. Being gentle with myself. As I mentioned earlier, I’ve been beating myself up about things. Therefore, when I feel that negativity trying to creep in, I remind myself that it’ll take some time to get acclimated to this new normal and to just focus on doing my best.
  4. Creating a (rough) schedule for my days/ week. Adding a job to the mix has helped me see that my days weren’t super structured before. However, I see why they should be: My days will likely go more smoothly, and I won’t feel as overwhelmed because I’ll know what days I do certain things. For example, I’ll choose one day to write, one day to create social media posts, etc. I’ll also stop adding too much to my to-do/intentions list.
  5. Allowing myself to be where I am. I think this is the biggest one for me. I tend to be someone who focuses on the future and lot and where I want to be (like I mentioned in this post). Planning and thinking of your future isn’t a bad thing in and of itself, but it can become an issue when you’re always wishing things were different or you were somewhere else than where you are now. The present moment is all there is, so I have to allow myself to simply be here, work with what I’ve got, and make the most of now.

“Your calm mind is the ultimate weapon against your challenges.” – Bryant McGill

The Power of Presence

Black Mom's Guide to Calm

As many of you know, I’ve been separated from my husband for some months now, which, of course, has cause my life to do a 180. And needless to say, I have a lot going on: My daughter and I are living with my parents at the moment, I’m building my business/empire, rebuilding my self-love and self-worth, becoming financially independent, in addition to being a mama to a 4-year-old (and life in general).

During this time, I’ve been pretty focused on my future, what I’m intending to manifest and figuring out what I want next. Now, there’s nothing inherently wrong with thinking about/visualizing/planning for your future; the issue is when you do it so much that it 1) prevents you from living in the moment; and 2) causes you to feel stressed, overwhelmed, and anxious, which is what I’ve been feeling.

Because of this, my mantra for the past few weeks has been Stay Present. As the Calm Coach, I know all about the power of being present and why I need to be. A few reasons you should be present (also known as practicing mindfulness), you:

  • stop or lessen your overthinking.
  • improve your focus.
  • reduce stress.
  • improve your overall well-being.

However, being that I’m human — with a tendency to overthink — my logic is that if I constantly plan and obsess think about the future, I’m going to make things happen more quickly and how I want them to, and I have the illusion that I’m in complete control of making things happen.

Since I’ve started being more intentional about being present, I’ve noticed that life actually goes more smoothly and things just have a way of working out. Additionally, I’m putting a lot less pressure on myself to achieve things by a certain time/date, and I’m more compassionate with myself. I also don’t beat myself up (as much) about what I don’t get done or the mistakes I’ve made. I now go with the flow more easily, I’m more peaceful, focused, and I’m more trusting of the process and the Universe.

One way to start being more present is by using mantras/affirmations. Here are a few I use when I need the reminder:

  • I focus on what’s in front of me.
  • I choose to live in the moment.
  • I trust the process of life.
  • Breathe.
  • I am enough.
  • I am doing my best.
  • I trust in Divine Timing.

“Live the actual moment. Only this actual moment is life.” – Thich Nhat Hanh

 

10 Affirmations for Your Sacral Chakra

Chakras refer to the wheels of energy throughout our bodies in yoga, meditation, and Ayurveda. There are seven main chakras that align the spine, starting at the base and through the crown of your head. Because they affect our psychological, emotional, and spiritual states of being, it’s important that the chakras stay open, fluid, and aligned. 

Located in the reproductive area, the sacral chakra connects to our feelings, emotions, sexuality, and creativity. When it’s unbalanced, you might feel:

  • jealous
  • guilty
  • shame around your body and sexuality
  • out of alignment with your emotions
  • a block in your creativity

When your sacral chakra is balanced, you are:

  • in tune with your emotions
  • more sensual and creative
  • allowing yourself to feel pleasure
  • more flexible and patient

Affirmations are a great way to balance and heal your chakras; here are 10 for your sacral:

  1. I embrace life with passion.
  2. I allow myself to experience pleasure.
  3. Creativity flows through me.
  4. I am co-creator with the Divine.
  5. I allow myself to feel all of my emotions.
  6. I enjoy my sensuality and sexuality.
  7. I love life, and life loves me.
  8. I deserve for life to feel good.
  9. I own my feminine magic.
  10. I am free to be who I am and enjoy my life.

Learn how to balance and heal your sacral chakra on Sunday, Feb. 18th at the Mind, Body, Spirit Sister Circle! Learn more, and sign up here: bit.ly/MBSFebruaryCircle

10 Affirmations for Your Root Chakras

Black Mom's Guide to Calm

Chakras refer to the wheels of energy throughout our bodies in yoga, meditation, and Ayurveda. There are seven main chakras that align the spine, starting at the base and through the crown of your head. Because they affect our psychological, emotional, and spiritual states of being, it’s important that the chakras stay open, fluid, and aligned.

The root chakra is located at the base of your spine and consists of the things that ground you to stability in your life. This includes your basic physical needs (food, water, shelter, safety) and your emotional needs (like moving past fear and worry).

When your root chakra is unbalanced, you might feel:

  • “out of it”/like your mind is all over the place.
  • anxious or worried.
  • unworthy.

When the root chakra is balanced, you feel:

  • stable.
  • secure.
  • trusting (of yourself and your Higher Power).

One way to heal your chakras is through affirmations, and here are 10 that will help:

  1. I feel safe and secure.
  2. I am grounded.
  3. I trust life, and I trust myself.
  4. I am open to all possibilities.
  5. I trust in the goodness of life.
  6. I have the right to be here.
  7. I am centered.
  8. I am exactly where I need to be.
  9. Life is conspiring in my favor.
  10. I live in an abundant universe.

You can repeat these whenever you feel the need, or you can use one (or more) while meditating.

Everything Is Working Out! A Guided Meditation

When you’re going through some shit, and you’ve been going through it for a while, it can seem like it’s never going to get better. Trust me, I’ve been there, and I still have those moments from time to time.

That’s why we have to remember that no matter how it might feel or look at the moment, everything is working out for us!  This guided meditation will allow you to rest in the knowing that life is conspiring in your favor, and all is well. Watch it below.

 

Create More Calm in 2018! 3 Intentions to Set

Black Girl's Guide to Calm

We’ve just begun a new year, making it a great time to create your calm by setting some intentions for inner peace. Creating calm and stressing less allows you to feel more centered and at peace more often than not, you’ll feel better (physically, mentally, emotionally), plus you’ll worry less and be happier.

Now that you know a few reasons why you should be intentional about creating calm, here are 3 intentions to set to help you do just that:

1. Know your stressors. It will be difficult to find your calm if you’re not sure what, exactly, is stressing you. And I know that the thought of not actually knowing why you’re stressed might sound kind of weird, but because we’re such “go, go, go people” and have a lot going on, it’s probably not super easy to pinpoint why we’re feeling overwhelmed. With that said, some common stressors include working long hours, money woes, relationship problems, emotional issues, and unrealistic expectations. Once you figure out what’s stressing you, you can then determine whether you can change the situation or if you need to accept it and learn ways to cope, which brings me to…

2. Have go-to calm practices. While there are some things you can do to get eliminate stress in your life (e.g., limiting contact with people, taking things off your to-do list, etc.), you’ll still deal with stress from time to time — because, human. And that’s where having calm practices come in. Some of my favorites are meditation, mindfulness, yoga, deep breathing, smudging, spending time alone, reading, and crystal healing. Try one (or a few) to see what works best for you.

3. Flow and trust. This is one of the biggest lessons I’ve been learning over the past few years. A huge cause of stress for me has been trying to be in control of everything, and when I couldn’t, worrying about those things I couldn’t control. It’s been challenging (and I still have difficulty at times), but I’ve learned how to go with the flow of what comes in my life — even when I don’t understand — and trust the process and the journey. Know that everything is working FOR you, and life is conspiring in your favor.

“Peace is not the absence of conflict but the presence of creative alternatives to responding to conflict.” – Dorothy Thompson

Are there any more calm intentions you would add? Let me know by leaving a comment!


Black Girl's Guide to Calm

Tap Into Your Inner Peace: 8 Quotes for Inspiration

Black Girl's Guide to Calm

Even as the Calm Coach, I have moments I need to tap into my inner peace. As I’ve mentioned here on the blog and on social media, my husband and I are separated (it’s not a terrible thing, btw), my daughter and I are back at my parents’ house, I’m working on myself, and I’m growing my business and getting my finances together. Needless to say, the past few months have been particularly stressful and overwhelming for me.

Fortunately, I’ve been able to stay (relatively) sane, calm, and centered with various practices like yoga, meditation, mindfulness, practicing self-care, and affirmations. If you find yourself feeling stressed or overwhelmed, here are a few quotes that will inspire you to find your calm:

  1. “Your calm mind is your weapon against your challenges. So relax.” – Bryan McGill
  2. “Relax. Everything is running right on schedule.” – The Universe
  3. “Slow down. Calm down. Don’t worry. Don’t hurry. Trust the process.” – Unknown
  4. “If the ocean can calm itself, so can you. We are both salt water mixed with air.” – Nayyirah Waheed
  5. “The day she let go of the things weighing her down, was the day she began to shine the brightest.” – Katrina Mayer
  6. “Everything you do can be done better from a place of relaxation.” – Stephen C. Paul
  7. “Quietness with thoughtful reflection and relaxation can be empowering.” – Cynthia Wright
  8. “Close your eyes. Take a deep breath. You are doing just fine. You’ll be just fine. It will all get done, whatever it is. You don’t need to stress. You just need to relax, trust, and take it all one slow step at a time.” – Lori Deschene

Do you have a favorite quote that inspires you to find calm? Please share by leaving a comment!