Keep Calm, Sis: 5 Reasons You Need to Find Your Calm

Black Mom's Guide to Calm

 

2014 was the year I started finding my calm. It was a few months after my daughter was born, and not only was I learning how to be a mom, trying to find harmony between everything I had going on, I also felt I didn’t have enough help from my husband. So, the time after her birth was extremely stressful, overwhelming, and frustrating. Ultimately, I realized I had to do something about it because I couldn’t keep being nor living the way I was. Discovering ways to overcome my overwhelm and find my calm was like a breath of fresh air and life-changing.

As a Black woman, I know many of us don’t see the importance of having tools that will help us lessen or eliminate the stress in our lives (thankfully, more of us are starting to see the benefits). Culturally, we’re taught to “just deal with it” and to put everyone else’s needs, wants, and well-being before our own. If you’re one of these women (and it’s okay if you are!), I encourage you to let go of that outdated way of thinking and make yourself and your peace a priority. Here’s why:

  1. You will go with the flow and worry less. Having practices that help you stress less (like meditation, mindfulness, and yoga) help keep your mind calm, clear, and relaxed more often than not. These practices also remind you and assist you in living in the present moment, which helps you not to worry so much, since you’re focused on what’s happening now (as opposed to the future).
  2. You become happier. Being stressed all — or most of — the time can rob you of your happiness; more than likely, you’re almost always irritable, moody, frustrated, and/or sad. So, when you make finding your calm a priority, you invite more joy in.
  3. You have better focus. Stress hormones can mess with your normal brain function, causing your mind and thoughts to be all over the place. That makes it hard to focus on what’s important and what you’re trying to accomplish. Discovering ways to find your calm will allow your mind to be more clear so you can get shit done.
  4. You’ll feel better. Stress takes a toll on your mental and physical health in various ways: headaches, fatigue, muscle pain, anxiety, feeling overwhelmed, and sadness, just to name a few. Finding ways to lessen or get rid of your stress will allow you to feel great mentally, physically, and emotionally.
  5. Your life will work better. Finding your calm and living from a space of peace allows you to make the best decisions in your life, relax more, create more positive energy, and it can even attract your desires to you (because you’re flowing instead of worrying).

“Everything you do can be done better from a place of relaxation.” – Stephen C. Paul


Find your calm by downloading my guided meditation below! 

Black Girl's Guide to Calm

10 Quotes to Help You Remember Who the F*ck You Are

 

Black Girl's Guide to Calm

2017 has been a roller coaster of a year for me. I’ve had a lot of positives happen (new friends, business ideas and opportunities, discovering more of myself) and negative things that are allowing me to grow as a person (my separation, moving back home, figuring out my finances). Admittedly, some of the lessons had a not-so-great effect on my self-worth and self-esteem, so for the past few months, I’ve been doing a lot of work around truly loving myself. And part of that has been reminding myself of who I really am.

The quotes that I’m sharing are ones that I have in my phone’s “Inspiration” photo album, or I have them saved in my IG collection. They are my go-tos when I need to remember who the fuck I am — and they’ll do the same for you!

  1. “She remembered who she was, and the game changed.”
  2. “Note to Self: You good, you poppin.'”
  3. “Give yourself permission to live a big life. Step into who you are meant to be. Stop playing small. You’re meant for greater things.”
  4. “Own your power.”
  5. “Close your eyes and imagine the best version of you possible. That’s who you really are; let go of any part of you that doesn’t believe it.”
  6. “Dear ladies, Please don’t let one day pass without you feeling like the beautiful, talented, bomb ass goddess you are.”
  7. “You are magic. Own that shit.”
  8. “Trust your dopeness.”
  9. “You’re a bright beautiful goddess.”
  10. “Admit it. You’re dope. Stop pretending you’re less than you are to protect someone’s ego. Be unabashedly aware of your fresh.”

And here are a few affirmations I use to remind me of who I am:

  • I am that bitch.
  • I am magic.
  • I am a goddess.
  • I am a badass, boss bitch.

Know who the fuck you are, and own it. You got this!

Black Girl's Guide to Calm

 

Trusting the Process of Life

Black Girl's Guide to Calm

As I mentioned on social media a few weeks ago, I’ve been dealing with some personal issues. My husband and I are currently separated. And while I was hurt and taken aback by the way it happened, I’m not totally surprised by what happened because we’d grown apart and had our issues (and I’d actually been going back and forth with it myself).

Due to our separation, my daughter and I have been staying with my parents for almost two months, and needless to say, it’s been an adjustment. It’s been…interesting, to say the least, because although moving back had crossed my mind, I didn’t think I’d actually have to do it — and definitely not now. So, basically, I’ve had to create a new normal and trust whatever comes next.

I believe that everything happens for a reason and things happen when they’re supposed to, even when it doesn’t feel good or necessarily make sense to us. Admittedly, it took me a really long time to learn this (maybe it’s one of those things you learn after 30?), but now that I know — for sure — it’s true, I generally go with the flow of whatever happens in my life. Trust me, it hasn’t been easy, but here’s how I learned to do it:

  • I constantly remind myself that I can’t control everything. I’ve pretty much always been someone who likes for everything to go exactly how I envision. And when it doesn’t, I had the tendency to kind of freak out about it. But getting older — and having a child and life itself — has helped me really see that I can’t control everything. And that’s okay.
  • I focus on what I can control, and take inspired action. Here’s what I mean by taking inspired action: Instead of acting from a space of desperation and lack, I listen to my intuition and Higher Self about what steps I should take next, even if Spirit tells me to be still.
  • I (do my best to) stay present. Practices like meditation and yoga have helped me learn how to be more mindful in my daily life and focus on what’s happening now.
  • I practice gratitude and look for the good. When we have situations that are less than favorable, we tend to focus on how much it sucks, and notice the other things that suck, drawing more sucky things to us. On the flip side, when we focus on the good (either in the situation or in general), not only do we feel better, we also attract more good to us.
  • I reflect on other situations where the Universe had my back. If you’re like me, you’ve made it through other times when you didn’t know how the hell you would. And you’ll do the same now!

Trust the Universe (or your Higher Power) and the path you’re on. Life loves you and is always conspiring in your favor! Know it with every fiber of your being!

Affirmation:

I choose to trust the process of my life.”

 


Black Girl's Guide to Calm

 

Guided Meditation for Self-Love & Self-Worth

Having a healthy sense of self-love and self-worth are two important aspects of feeling whole, joyful, and a peace. Self-love can also bring your more confidence, create a more positive mindset, and allow you to better handle life’s challenges.

This video shares a guided meditation to help increase your self-love and self-worth because:

“You are a unique, beautiful soul.”

Guided Meditation to Get Grounded

Are you feeling anxious, off-kilter and all over the place? You may need to clear/heal your root chakra so you can feel more centered. Located at the base of your spine, the root chakra relates to our sense of groundedness and safety. When it’s in balance, we feel secure, safe, stable, and positive.

This guided meditation will help you balance your root chakra and get grounded!

Join My Yoga Challenge: #30DaysofYoga

Black Girl's Guide to Calm

September is right around the corner…and that means it’s almost time for National Yoga Month, a great time for you to get started — or get back on track — with your practice.

And I have the perfect way for you to do so: #30DaysofYoga, an Instagram yoga challenge! Just in case you’re like, ‘Ehh, I don’t know if this is for me,’ here are a few reasons to start your practice. Yoga:

  • brings you peace of mind
  • can make you happier
  • gives you inner strength
  • can encourage self-acceptance
  • can improve your confidence

Now that that’s out of the way, here’s how the challenge works:

  1. Every day, starting September 1st, I’ll post a pose on Instagram (and/or send it to your inbox).
  2. You practice the pose, and post your photo on Instagram, using the hashtags #30DaysofYoga and #Blackgirlcalm.
  3. Participants will be entered into a giveaway for my forthcoming affirmation cards.

To keep up with the pose of the day, follow Black Girl’s Guide to Calm on IG and/or sign up here to get it sent to your inbox.

“The body benefits from movement, and the benefits from stillness.” – Sakyong Mipham

15 Simple Ways to Relax

 

Black Girl's Guide to Calm

In our fast-paced, technology-driven world, most of us find it hard to simply relax. And a lot of times, we don’t even feel it’s necessary to do so. However, having some down time has many benefits. It:

  • helps prevent stress from accumulating
  • reduces general anxiety
  • increases your energy level and helps with productivity
  • improves your concentration
  • boosts self-confidence

Now that you know why you probably need to unwind more often, here are 15 simple ways to relax:

  1. Do some yoga.
  2. Meditate.
  3. Read for pleasure.
  4. Take a bubble and/or spiritual bath.
  5. Spend some time alone.
  6. Laugh.
  7. Listen to your favorite music.
  8. Take a phone/social media break.
  9. Nap and/or sleep in.
  10. Visualize/daydream.
  11. Netflix and chill…with yourself.
  12. Create a gratitude list.
  13. Spend some time outdoors.
  14. Journal.
  15. Color

What are your favorite ways to relax? Let me know by leaving a comment!


Black Girl's Guide to Calm

4 Tips for Beginner Meditators

Meditation and concentration are the way to a life of serenity.” – Baba Ram Dass

Have you been interested in starting a meditation practice but feel overwhelmed by the thought? I get it, with all the tips and information out there, it can be difficult to just begin.

In the video below, I’m sharing 4 tips to help you get started.

 

 


4 Crystals for Total Beginners

crystals

I first learned about crystals in 2015 while attending my friend, Trelani’s, Between Words and Water Writing Retreat. I ordered my first batch from Third Eye Naga, and I’ve pretty much been obsessed ever since. I keep them on my night stand, wear one around my neck, wear bracelets, and even carry them in my bra (don’t judge me!).

However, if you’re new to crystals, trying to figure out which ones to use can be overwhelming because there are sooo many to choose from. So, here are four that will get you started:

 

Smoky quartz is my favorite, go-to crystal. It’s related to the root chakra and absorbs negative energy, increases positive energy, helps you stay grounded, increases your vibration, and assists in releasing past hurt.

Affirmation: I am calm, grounded, and at peace.

This crystal is all about love of all kind. Related to the heart chakra, rose quartz promotes unconditional love, joy, and emotional healing, strengthens hope and faith, assists in overcoming despair, and brings calm.

Affirmation: I deeply and completely love and accept myself.

Clear quartz is known as the master healer. It magnifies energies, cleanses spaces, increases energy, cleanses and charges other crystals, and provides protection. While you can use it for all chakras, it’s mainly related to the crown.

Affirmation: I am divinely guided and inspired.

Amethyst improves your intuition and inner sight, helps with insomnia, promotes restful sleep (I often sleep with one under my pillow), and supports your connection to the Divine and your higher Self. It’s related to both the third eye and crown chakras.

Affirmation: I always honor and follow my intuition.


Where to Buy

While there are literally hundreds of places to get your crystals, here are places where I’ve purchased mine:

Individual Stones

Third Eye Naga

Greenville Gemstone Mine

Enter the Earth

Asheville Raven & Crone 

Everyday Magic 

Crystal Jewelry

Chakra Candi

Pure Energies

Prolific Expressions

Which crystals have you tried? Which are your favorite? Let me know by leaving a comment!


10 Quotes to Inspire You to Live in the Moment

Black Girl's Guide to Calm

Over the past few years, I believe the Universe has been trying to teach me to live in the moment. As a daydreamer who has been developing her patience forever (it seems), being present and allowing everything to unfold the it is has not been my strong suit. I am, thankfully, getting better at it. Because what I’ve come to realize is that the only moment/time there is is the present moment, and fretting/obsessing over what’s to come does nothing but stress me out and cause me anxiety (and it probably does the same to you).

If you have trouble staying present and living in the moment, here are 10 quotes to inspire you to do so:

  1. “Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it.” – Eckhart Tolle
  2. “Joy comes to us in ordinary moments. We risk missing out when we get too busy chasing down the extraordinary.” – Brene Brown
  3. “Trust the timing of your life.” – Unknown
  4. “I know that the big miracles we’re waiting on are happening right in front of us, at every moment, with every breath. Open your eyes and heart, and you’ll begin to see them.” – Oprah Winfrey
  5. “Wherever you are, be all there.” – Jim Elliot
  6. “Be. Here. Now.”– Unknown
  7. “Mindfulness is paying attention on purpose, in the present moment, and nonjudgmentally, to the unfolding of experience, moment to moment.” – Jon Kabat Zinn
  8. “Breathing in, I calm my body. Breathing out, I smile. Dwelling in the present moment, I know this is a wonderful moment.” – Thich Nhat Hanh
  9. “Wherever you are, be there. If you can be fully present now, you’ll know what it means to live.” – Steve Goodier
  10. “Living in the moment brings you a sense of reverence for all of life’s blessings.” – Oprah Winfrey

Having a meditation practice is a great way to learn how to live in the moment! Download my guided meditation to get started.

Black Mom's Guide to Calm