How to Stop Overthinking and Trust the Process

Black Mom's Guide to Calm

I’ve pretty much been an overthinker for as long as I can remember. And although I’ve gotten better at not doing it as much as I used to, I still have my moments. For example, last week I was feeling kind of discouraged about my business for a number of reasons (which is totally normal, by the way. But I wasn’t making as many sales as I wanted, Aunt Flo was visiting i.e., hormones, and maybe a little Mercury Retrograde was affecting me).

One day, on my way to work, I was listening to the Being Boss podcast about fear I think, and one of the hosts, Kathleen, mentioned that she’d gone to see an energy healer. She shared that her main takeaway from the experience was to focus on what, not how. And while it was a lightbulb moment for me, it was nothing that I hadn’t heard before, so it was a reminder of something that I had forgotten. The Law of Attraction essentially says that you should simply focus on what it is you desire, NOT on how it’s going to come to you. Like, I KNOW this is true; but sometimes, when you’re in it, in life, you forget the truth and what you know.

I think part of the issue was me thinking about all the things I want to accomplish in my business, how I could (or would) do it, how much time it would take and how much I time I felt I would need, and feeling like I’m “behind.” And another huge issue was me spending waaay too much time on social media, comparing my life and journey to other people’s. Ultimately, I came to the realization that I was overthinking — and that’s why I’d been feeling discouraged and stressed and overwhelmed. So, here’s what I did — and am doing — to combat that habit in the moment (and these are in no particular order):

Stop. 

When I notice that I’m overthinking, I will literally tell myself to stop — and sometimes I even say it out loud. Then, I choose a different thought, a more positive one that will better serve me.

Breathe.

I pause and take a few deep breaths. This allows me to calm and center myself. Breathing also puts things back in perspective, meaning it helps me remember that I’m exactly where I need to be and that all is well.

Affirm.

To get my mind back on a more positive track, I say a few of my favorite affirmations like:

All is well.

I trust in Divine Timing.

Trust the process.

The Universe has my back.

Everything is happening how it’s supposed to.

I got this.

Stay present.

Bring my focus and attention back to the present moment does a few things: 1. I feel more centered and peaceful; 2. I am better able to focus on the task at hand, which allows me to actually get shit done; 3 Being in a peaceful, contented, grateful state of flow magnetizes my desires to me.

Get inspired.

Listening to podcasts from women entrepreneurs has become one of my favorite things. Not only do I get tips for growing my business, being more productive, etc., I am also inspired by the stories I hear that show me I can do this, too.

Do a brain dump.

On days that I feel overwhelmed, I take out my journal, and write down everything that comes to me: what I’m thinking, how I’m feeling, and even any solutions that pop into my head. When I do this, it feels like space is cleared in in my mind, so to speak. Then, I can focus on actually doing what I need to. And speaking of doing what I need to…

Take inspired action.

When I overthink and start stressing myself out about not being “there” quickly enough, my natural inclination is to just try everything and do all this stuff to make shit happen and happen more quickly. What I’ve learned is that doing things out of desperation or fear never works. However, when you listen to Spirit and your Divine Guidance for what to do next, that’s when the magic happens.

Realize the things I’m thinking haven’t actually happened.

Another point brought up on the podcast was the fact that most of the things we’re fearing or worrying about hasn’t even happened! Basically, we’re worrying about situations and worst-case scenarios that are literally just in our minds. This is where being present and mindful comes into play.

Pay attention to signs from the Universe.

I’m a believer that the Universe sends us messages in various forms to remind us of what we need to know. Interestingly, as I was scrolling Facebook the morning I started this post, I came across two statuses that confirmed the importance of trusting the process:

“You cannot get to the end from the middle. No matter what we are doing, there is a process. When we rush ahead we miss important steps. If we become impatient, we can overlook details. We must be willing to move step by step, inch by inch to get to the end.” – Iyanla Vanzant

“Do not put a timeframe on everything. Instead enjoy each step. Accept the fact that your objectives can only be accomplished one at a time. Trust comes from understanding the plan of success…” – Frank Matias

Realize this is YOUR journey.

One of my overthinking and worry triggers is comparing myself and my life to other people’s. What I have to remind myself is that this is MY path, and that everyone else is on their own path. I have to focus on me and what I was put here to do, and stay in MY lane.

“Stop overthinking. You can’t control everything. Just let it be.” – Unkown

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